


talk of the town

by Space_Samurai



Category: One Piece
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Humor, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Wano Arc (One Piece), Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_Samurai/pseuds/Space_Samurai
Summary: “Where is Zoro?” Momonosuke asked. He’s been wanting to thank the man for saving his sister ever since he heard about it.From his spot on the table, Luffy picked his nose. “Up in the crow’s nest. But don’t go there, I just got kicked out.” He pouted.“Marimo is training already?” Sanji asked absentmindedly, serving food to the ladies. “Fighting Kaido wasn’t enough for him?”“Wasn’t training.” Luffy answered, frowning slightly. “He was naked with some lady and she screamed a lot when I showed up. I think it was Momo’s sister.”
Relationships: Kozuki Hiyori/Roronoa Zoro
Comments: 48
Kudos: 182





	talk of the town

“Where is Zoro?” Momonosuke asked. He’s been wanting to thank the man for protecting his sister ever since he heard about it. He hadn’t been able to do so after the battle, since the reindeer and the surgeon had taken him away to the sick bay to be bandaged and stitched in about every place of his body. That hadn’t kept _him_ from asking for sake and food between groans of pain. Hiyori, grateful and gracious, had insisted on providing them herself.

From his spot on the table, Luffy picked his nose. “Up in the crow’s nest. But don’t go up, I just got kicked out.” He pouted. The captain had wanted to stay with his first mate, while the rest of them spent the evening at the Flower Capital, feasting and celebrating their victory.

“Marimo is training already?” Sanji asked absentmindedly, serving food to the ladies. “Fighting Kaido wasn’t enough for him?”

“Wasn’t training.” Luffy answered, frowning slightly. “He was naked with some lady and she screamed a lot when I showed up. I think it was Momo’s sister.” 

The table went eerily quiet. Luffy’s chewing noises were the only thing that could be heard. 

Otama went red. Robin and Nami shared a look, the navigator wide-eyed and the archeologist rather intrigued. Chopper continued eating, seemingly ignorant of the tension and still silently fuming about Zoro’s disregard for his own health. Kin’emon went purple and choked on his noodles. 

The men who managed to react spoke all at once. 

“Momo's sister!? The beautiful oiran?!” Ussop couldn’t believe it. Or maybe he could. Zoro always had the best of luck, the bastard.

Despite himself, Momonosuke bristled. “My sister is a princess! She was just posing as an oiran!”

“Zoro-bro had a _suuuper_ reason to stay on the ship.” Franky marvelled, scratching his chin. “I just hope he doesn’t stain the floors of the training room.” He hummed thoughtfully. “Should I build an extra bunk up there? Reinforce the ones we already have?”

“Yohoho! I’m so jealous! And to think Zoro-san insisted they had just been sleeping…” The skeleton looked down in disappointment. 

“Huh?! This isn’t the first time it happened?!” Kin’emon, throat now free of the noodles, was outraged. 

“After Kenshin-san saved us! It was really cold so we all slept together.” O-toko giggled, a sincere sound that had nothing to do with her consumption of the Smile. “Men always like it when they sleep next to sis!”

“All of you slept together because it was cold?” Nami inquired, deciding it was time to intervene. Now, that was making more sense. “Luffy, are you sure Zoro was _fully_ naked?” It wouldn’t be rare for the swordsman to work-out without his shirt and maybe Momo’s sister had stayed to take care of him in case he collapsed again. Or maybe she was just admiring the sight.

“Yup,” he slurped a noodle. “And she was kinda naked too and Zoro was on top of her-”

“Shut your mouth!” Kin’emon no longer looked purple, but both green and red. Nami had a feeling that the noodles would be back soon if the conversation went on. “ _Shut up!_ ”

“-I think I walked into Shanks and Makino doing the same thing once. They freaked out too.” He swallowed. “Must be fun if everyone does it.” 

“ _Suuper_ -fun!”

“Yohohoho, indeed!” 

Ussop looked away, he certainly couldn’t tell from experience. 

Otama didn’t hear a thing, as she had long since covered her ears. O-toko kept on giggling. Law had just arrived and didn’t question the state of the affairs, just sat on a corner and served himself some noodles, seeing that the cook was busy being on fire.

“That bastard!” Sanji roared, mouth foaming and body aflame. Smoke was coming from his feet. Franky thought he looked like a rocket ready to launch. Now he wanted to build one. “Hiyori-chan, here I come to protect your virtue!” 

“If they were having sex-” Kin’emon coughed up blood “-when Luffy went in, it’s likely that that ship has already sailed.” Robin helpfully pointed out, moving her bowl away from the range of Sanji’s fire. “Though tying together the concepts of virtue and virginity is rather archaic. I don’t particularly like it, seeing that both things are social constructions and not relevant on a person’s-”

“Would you _please_ stop talking about it?” Kin’emon begged. He’d die if he had to listen to another moment of this. They were talking about Hiyori! Whom he wasn’t ready to see as anything but the little tomboy he had known her as. 

“-worth.” Robin finished. 

Law pulled out his sword before Sanji could march to the Thousand Sunny.

“Cook-ya, I won’t let you undo my hard work,” he warned. Much like Chopper, he was already pissed off with the swordsman’s lack of appreciation for their combined efforts to keep him alive and in one piece, but he wasn’t going to let the cook break the man again when they had just fixed him.

The reindeer had only just realized what had happened. “Oh no, did we have any contraceptives on the-? Ah, yes I put some on the sick bay. Oh no, Zoro doesn’t know how to get to the sick bay!” He stressed. 

“Tony-ya, there’s contraception that can be taken _after_ the act. I have some on my ship, I’ll bring it to you later.”

“Yes! Thank you! I’ll have to ask Momo’s sister if she was taking anything beforehand…” 

Meanwhile, Momonosuke was defending his sister, feeling that Sanji had somehow offended her with his words. “My sister is virtuous and good! I don’t like what you are implying!” 

“Momo-kun!” Sanji’s flames went down as he remembered he had to suck it up to Momonosuke, since he was Hiyori’s older brother. “Of course I’m not implying anything~ Hiyori-chan is pure as snow, it’s the shitty swordsman that I’m worried about!” 

Nami groaned, looking up to the sky in defeat as she realized there was no way to bring back sanity to the conversation. She wasn’t drunk enough to deal with this, she decided and served herself a cup of sake. She side-eyed Robin, who seemed way too at ease with the whole situation. 

“Don’t worry Sanji; Zoro looked fine, just really red.” Luffy said, still eating. “And sweaty. Ne, Nami, think he’s got a fever?”

She hoped that Zoro was having a good time, considering the storm that would be coming for him later. Nami served herself another cup. 

Izo, Kikunojo and Kawamatsu arrived in time to witness a burning cook, a drunk navigator, a depressed skeleton, a tired surgeon, a reindeer talking about reproduction and a nonchalant archeologist. 

The cyborg wasn’t present since he had left to build a rocket. The liar went away to cry about the girl he had left in Syrup Village and grunt about the fun times they’d have together as soon as he returned (should she want to, of course). 

Their fellow samurai had passed out and he was on the floor so they missed him. Momonosuke was still defending his sister’s honor, while Sanji alternated between being on fire and raging against Zoro and being obnoxiously pleasant to a perverted brat he didn’t actually like.

* * *

Zoro sneezed again. Hiyori, from her spot on the crook of his neck, giggled. 

“People must be talking about you, Zorojuro-san.” 

He found it a bit odd that she’d keep using the honorifics, considering everything they had just done together, they should be on a first-name basis already. Though he really didn’t mind, so he said nothing.

“Jealous?” He asked, turning his head to look at her.

“I’m always the talk of the Flower Capital!” She claimed brightly. “So I don’t sneeze anymore when people talk about me.”

 _So straightforward,_ he thought.

“Is that so?” He chuckled, laying back down. Hiyori got closer to him. At some point she had put on her light pink hadajuban, which covered her nudity but didn’t leave much to the imagination. Zoro kind of wished she had put on his haori, like she had on Hakumai, it had looked good on her. 

“Do you think they’ll be back soon?” She wondered with a bashful expression. She, unlike Zoro, still wasn’t over his captain stumbling upon them. Zoro wanted to kick Luffy again, even if it hadn't been really his fault. He hadn’t appreciated the interruption or Hiyori’s embarrassed screeches.

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” he reassured her. If the drink and food were plenty, he knew the crew was likely to party for _at least_ two days. Zoro wouldn’t mind joining them later, after a nap. He also knew that Hiyori wanted to spend more time with her brother and the Scabbards, even if she had insisted on staying with him. “We should go to the celebration later.”

“Zorojuro! You are still injured-”

“You didn’t seem to mind earlier.”

“-and you popped your stitches.” She scolded, but her face had gone red. They both knew she had some part in that.

“So? I've been up with worse.” He was yet to receive a wound as terrible as the one Mihawk had inflicted on him during their duel at the Baratie, and he had been _fine_ after that one. Though the ones he got from Kaido were no joke either. “C'mon, we sleep and we go.” 

“You should really fix them before we go…” She sighed. “They could get infected. Besides, if they ask how you messed them up...” 

He sighed back at her. “Do you know how to?”

“I always helped the girls with their kimonos and I’m really good at embroidering!” She smiled. “It shouldn’t be so hard.”

The image of Hiyori cheerfully poking him with a needle until he had a flower stitched on his skin came to mind and he shuddered.

“Better let them ask instead.” She slapped his chest and he groaned. “I’m wounded there!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Tch, stop apologizing.” He looked at the ceiling, absently threading his fingers through the end of her hair. The many pins and ornaments that used to keep it up layed not far from them, where she had set them aside. 

Zoro was almost asleep when she spoke again.

“I really don’t want them to ask.” she said softly. 

Zoro almost told her that if Luffy had seen them, chances were that all of Wano knew already. Not that he cared about what the world had to say about him, but if she did…

“Are you ashamed?” Zoro couldn’t remember the last time he had been ashamed of anything. 

Hiyori rose to look at him in the eye, hands at the sides of his head. Her hair fell around him like a cascade.

“Of course not! It’s just… My father's men can be overprotective." She bit the inside of her cheek, now looking annoyed rather than earnest. "I wouldn't want them to something stupid, like attack you…"

Zoro's blood ran hot, though whether it was because she was on top of him or at the idea of facing the Scabbards he couldn’t tell. Maybe it was both.

“I wonder if I could take on all of them at once...” 

“Zorojuro!” She stopped herself before slapping his chest again, her hand stilling right above it. Her mouth twitched and she brought the hand to his hair instead. “I don't want you to get hurt again because of me.”

“If I get hurt it’s because I’m weak, not because of you.” They’d had this conversation before, she worried too much. He leaned into her touch as the fingers began to run against his scalp.

“Fine then, we’ll rest and then we’ll go to the celebration.” She finally agreed. 

Zoro wasn’t in the mood for a nap anymore. Holding her waist, he rocked their hips together. 

“I don’t want to sleep.” He sat and crossed his legs, letting her find a comfortable position and bringing them face to face. “Do _you_ want to?” 

“No.” She said quickly.

“Yeah,” he slipped a hand beneath her hadajuban and felt her tremble against him. “Me neither.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is. It practically wrote itself. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! And if you did, please let me know!


End file.
